updates

i know some of you are worrying for me. but im ok, i was admitted in the hospital on monday and went out wednesday afternoon. my operation took a long time, i was brought in OR 7am and went out past 12noon already. doc said he had a difficulty on my right tonsils but anyways its over already and i just have to focus on regaining my strength and recovering. i still have to take medicines and go for check ups next week. more sleep,avoid stress.hehe!

im on soft food diet now,i cant eat hot foods so cold soups,congees,oatmeal,noodles.have to eat ice cream too,hehe!poor tummy, im drooling for a lot of foods. its still painful when swallowing,i cant talk loudly. thats why the other day i have to write down on paper what i have to buy,lol!

i wish to be fully healthy soon, i dont want to drink medicines anymore,i dont want to be weak anymore,i miss my old lively happy self *grins*

thanks to jaymie for staying with me in the hospital for 3days,thanks for chrissy who visited me and to friends who texted me,dont worry too much *winks*

p.s.

btw me and jaymie has some crazy photos in the hospital, will upload soon,yay!

thank you shadow! now how to achieve dee noodles

aww this is made by my bro shadow and it really made me smile, i really appreciate the effort of making me smile *hugs tightly* im so happy to have a big bro like you. i will smile as long as you will smile too :P

now speaking of noodles.... how to achieve dee's noodles*rubs hands*

first boil it *blok blok blok* hahahahaha

then drain it *shhhheeeeeessshhhh*

and finally mix it *drools* now its time to eat *munches*

to my friends

hey guys!its been a while,sorry for not posting back to your guestbooks, ok so whats happening to me lately? im getting enough rest these days and long hours of sleep. ive been ill for more than a month but i just hide it with my smile :)

but it got worst, so i have to undergo operation soon, i have to have my tonsils remove because i have difficulty in eating,breathing and talking. ive been to many doctors to ask for different opinions, i want to save my tonsils but medicines wont help. it really needs to be remove because it has been problematic for me. all doctors said, my case is already surgical. i took 5kinds of antibiotics already for a period of more than a month. its really frustrating for me! i follow everything and bought all the medicines prescribed but i guess im under through a lot of stress. stresses coming from different aspects. as of now thats the last thing i wanna feel, to feel stressed. doctor suggested me sleep apnea, sleeping in a sitting position, tried that for 2days but it results me to having back pain and heavy lungs

only soft foods for now, a lot of foods i cannot eat.grrrr.......

by monday ill have my medical tests, to see if my body is suit for the operation then by next week i will know when can i have my operation.

ive never been hospitalized all my life but i get sick easily, doh!

now this is the first time ill be hospitalized and ill undergo surgery, oh my! i need strength....

thank you thank you for all the friends who showed their care and concern for me, who helped me, who called and texted me, who thought of me, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! i felt i was alone, but i still got a family, i got my zorpian friends, i love you guys!

i was anxious, sick and worried but you guys gave me comfort, thank you for being my angel *hugs*

...

i hope i didnt dissapoint anyone, all i wanted is to make things right, to accomplish everything and to do my best. but guess what, im sick again and have to go to hospital tomorrow. im so scared. i dont know why this is happening to me, am i really a bad person? dont know why but sorry if you wont hear from me for quite sometime, im in a tough state at the moment, :(

new photos with my sissys :P

this was taken in starbucks malate last night, we stayed there till 4am, damn my head is spinning right now,im so dizzy, no sleep,maybe it was the coffee jelly,huhuhu!!! i want more sleep *jumps to bed*

these are so funny, im crazy, no i mean we are crazy, damn this ball is heavy. i think i broke my back,lol

ooh sweet poses, we watched the omen in sm north, then when we were in the restroom after the movie, the lights suddenly turned off *rushes to the door and screams* haha!

*burps* now its all empty, ooh i love to have those again please *grins*

meow! *chuckles and sticks out tongue*

WORDS

some people likes to make promises

some people like to make compromises

some people likes to say just anything they want

words are just words but it could leave you scars

it could cut your flesh and break you into pieces

be careful on the words you use

the most important for me is TRUST

once you have broken your words, trust is broken too

dont dissapoint me by your words

dont dare

coz if you mean to just dissapoint the person

only one piece of advice

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

a little something about me - a little serious,lol

this journal will be a little bit different, more serious, more deep and more meaningful for me. as im typing this journal i feel dizziness and light headedness from the special lozenge the doctor prescribed me this mornng for my severe tonsilitis. this is the side effect

i went to the hospital this morning, have my tonsils checked up and another antibiotics were prescribed.i am under medication since may 11 and this is the 4th kind of antibiotics that im taking. if this will not subside totally or will have recurrent tonsilitis, she suggested me to have it removed thru operation.

its really alarming...my immune system is not that strong for my body to respond easily to my previous anti-biotics.since i was a child i always do get sick, maybe because im always not feeling well inside, like theres always heavy stone inside of me due to all the emotional pain and stress i get from family, friends and love relationships.life has been rough...

i was very weak inside out, i easily cry when i was a kid when im being picked on, i always get sick too, i did some stupid stuff too like hurting myself, i was weak, lost, and on the stage of finding myself and what i really want in life. i keep searching for long but it took time for me to find out what i really want, what will make me happy and what will satisfy me.

if bad things wont happen...if i didnt get dissapointed over someone or something...if i didnt fail...if i didnt get hurt...i will not learn.for all the pain, the hardships, failures, for all of these...i learn and i thank god for that. I am really a tough cookie, im stronger than i could ever imagine, im a fighter.

to tell you frankly its really my fault why i get so sick now, ive been abusing my health by overworking, sleeping too muc late or no sleep at all, drinking often and tried smoking even if im not a smoker, this results to this illness now but i think for me not getting sick and all, i wouldnt realize how to value my life and health. abusing our health is not the means to forget our problems in life nor to solve it. by drinking, by overworking i thought this could be means for me to forget my problems and be happy in my life, but it made me worst. now im more cautious in my health, im more positive in life and i learn to more appreciate the small things in life. its funny when it takes a person to fail or experience adversities before you learn these things.

my doc said i should practice voice therapy, no shouting and no talking that much at the moment,haha! can i not talk all the time? im very talkative in a good way, rofl!

i know this is just another trial for me and i should stay positive and happy :)

from my birth till now, this is the only stage of my life where i can really say that IM HAPPY! this is the life that i want, this is where i wanna be, a life where i have all the FREEDOM in the world, a life where everything is on my hands and i just need to have good decisions in order for me to be on the right path towards success in heaven and in earth. i love my job very much and i will do my very best to prove myself and not to fail anyone of them, i love my friends who can appreciate me, who cares for me, who is there for me without being asked, who has been great inspirations and great part of my life, i love myself for being a strong person, for being real, for people loving me just for who i am, i love the lord for bringing me into this wonderful world, i love life!

i hope everyone of us will realize that life is beautiful, i hope everyone can learn how to value not only the good things but also adversities which are not there to really break us into pieces but are really there to mold us to be a greater person each day. i hope everyone can learn how to appreciate even a simple thank you, simple acts and words that most of us ignores because we are often focused on negative things rather than being thankful that we still have food to eat and a shelter to live in.

enjoy life everyone, live it to the fullest, we only live it once!

P.S.

thank you for reading my journal, i hope i didnt bore you at all

hair coloring session

this is the time where joshua, the hair attendant is coloring my hair, i chosed a deep red color, im the last customer coz i went there at night after working. i also had my hair cut, just a trim.

tada tada...

this is the outcome, frankly speaking i really dont know if i achieve the red color, i think not that much since last night im the last customer, they are nearly closing so the hair color was on my hair for about 20mins before washing,aahh.... whatever,i still like my new hair color. i took this photo this morning *yawns*you see all stinky and sleepy here,haha! *rushes into the shower* ooh i know drying my hair will stain the towel,hehe!